For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
