I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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