After last night, I could never be a politician.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
