What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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