At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
