My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
