I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
