Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
