omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
