Buhtt sex?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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