they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
