i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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