we have officially lost it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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