Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
