People in love make me want to vomit
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Enjoy the penises
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
