you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
