I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
