And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
