Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
