More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Jerry, you need to find god
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
