I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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