Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
