If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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