good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
