perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
