the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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