are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
