I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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