Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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