Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
