i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
