I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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