This is not my ceiling
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
where are my eyebrows?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
