I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
