Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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