Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
they're like a gay fantastic four
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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