Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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