so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
