So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
MIDGETS
????
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
