Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize