It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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