Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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