what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize