I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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