She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize