its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
