pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
