He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize