No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
