Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
