His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
