I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
