trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Someone came in the potted fern
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
