Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
