shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
