It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
