Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
