how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
